Don't HATE me cuz you AIN'T me

I feel so alone here. It's as if I am everyones back-up buddy here. It seems like people only call me to hang out if they have no one else or they are bored and have some time to kill before they go out with someone else. I hate it and quite frankly I'm pretty tired of it. I can't wait to go home... this place sucks. It was ok at first and it actually gave me some hope. "This year's not gonna be so bad" I would say and then it would just keep getting worse. Boston is at an all time low and i don't know what to do. I miss the support system that i have back in Maryland. I miss everyone so much. sometimes I wish i had a shitty summer like everyone else here so that way i would be happy to be back, but no. I had the most amazing summer with the best people ever and now i'm paying for it. I also wish i could be there for Julie. I feel bad that she is going through all of this and i can't be there to help her. it hurts me. Sure i can talk to her on the phone when i have the chance, but i can't give her a hug... I can't be there to hang out with her and save her... it's so hard because that is what i do! Whenever my friends have a problem i rescue them and being up in boston makes that really hard. And omg... Ginger, what a bitch! I can't believe she wants to fire me. I want to find out if i owe her any money, and if not i'm gonna quit. What a fucking bitch. If I quit it's not gonna be pretty. I'm gonna fucking tear her apart. I wanna make her cry! This sucks... I wish i were home...

yvette, everytime i hear this song i think of you... it's "All At Once" by The Fray:

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another

Ronald Earl Owens Jr.
Ronald Earl Owens Jr.

Ronald Earl Owens, Jr., age 48 years, of Pitman, N.J. died June 5 at his home surrounded by his family.

He was a lifelong resident of Pitman and a member of the Army National Guard from 1976 - 80. He was a pipefitter at Joule Industries of Gibbstown, N.J., and for the past two years was employed by M. Davis Co. in Delaware.

Survived by his wife, Gerri D. Owens, children Geoffrey N. of Malaga, Marybeth, Hillary Jean, Kellie E. and David J., all of Pitman, his mother Dorothy J. Owens of Holiday, Fla, sister Susan Owens, and brother Russell Owens. He was a very caring person and a good uncle to his many nieces and nephews.





it's been a long time since death has hit my family, and you forget how it feels. it's just so sad that he was only 48 years old and has five kids, not to mention that his oldest daughter is pregnant! My uncle may have had some issues, but he was a genuine person. it's gonna be really hard to go to the funeral this saturday. i don't know how i am gonna get through it.

I ____ matt.
matt is ____.
If I were alone in a room with matt, I would ____.
I think matt should ____.
matt needs ____.
matt will never ____.
I want to _____ matt.
When I think about matt, I ____.
Someday matt will _____.
matt reminds me of _____.
Without matt ____.
Memories of matt are ____.
matt can be ____.
_____ is how I describe meeting matt.
Worst thing about matt is ____.
Best thing about matt is _____.
matt _____.

got a 90 on my jury... guess that's not bad considering i was like about to die... it just pisses me off cuz i know that i could have done so much better had i not been so god damn fucking sick!

2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS 2 DAYS untill i get to see my beloved marylanders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just had an intense 20 min convo with drea... I'm so fuckin excited to go home!!!!! Talking to Drea made me really miss highschool... hahahaha... It made me think about how much fun we had towards the end of the year in IBAM (or skipping it), Spurney's class... then there was beach week and even though we got a whole 2 days of sun i still had an amazing time. Sometimes I wish i were still finishing out my senior year, it was so low key and care free. I just hope that this summer is as much fun as last year (if not more).

5 DAYS!

And then I'll be at home with Yvette, Drea, Antoine, Hernan, and everyone else. I can't wait to go to the beach with HA and Christina. I can't wait to hang out in Georgetown with the PY. I JUST CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!

Time to go finish coughing up my lungs so that i can have a successfull jury tomorrow!

my juries on monday and i think i am getting sick... i am going to fail and they are gonna take away my scholarship! i need to practice, but i don't know if i should rest so that i can get better or if i should go practice!!!!

So I am starting to get really excited for the summer... My parents came up this last weekend and i actually had a pretty good time with them! While they were here we made our plans for coming home.... My mom is coming up on May 4th and that night we are gonna go see BSO do Edipus Rex and then i am gonna come home on the 5th... I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED! So much has happened this year and I am just excited to go home and get away from it all for a few months.

I'm having a hard time trying to decide wether or not i want to be an OL... It pays a shit load of money and after talking it over with people i think i have a good shot at it... how many Males from orchestra are gonna try out for it??? I think i am gonna apply and see what happens... $200 plus money for food everyday (and i don't neccessarily have to spend it on food... lol) so yeah... it would also cut into my summer so we'll see!